Feelings come and go like clouds in a windy sky.
Conscious breathing is my anchor.
—Thich Nhat Hahn

I was busted the other day, in a way that only someone who loves you can: “How often do you meditate?” Honest answer… “When I need to…?” She laughed. I grinned, chagrinned. If I only meditate when I “need to,” I’ll not be very good at seeking peace of mind when I really must. It is best to rehearse off stage. By choosing calm during non-stressed times, we are more able to practice conscious breathing more easily. But now? In this insane summer of 2020, with fear and hopelessness being evoked by news, finances, loneliness and politics, our days seem driven by a pointed existential clutch that something needs doing right now. We speed up even when there is nothing more to be done, panicky feelings get us on the anxiety freeway, but there is no automatic off-ramp to escape the intending-to-be-helpful stress chemicals. Conscious breathing provides the off-ramp. It is core to the skill of mindfulness.

It was Thich Nhat Hanh’s special gift to the American people to introduce the concept of mindfulness. He saw that our brains were constantly active, distracted, un-present. And with the kindness of a saint, he explained that sitting still, or walking with full attention, can bring us to point of releasing worry, to choose peace. For most of my early searching, meditation was something that needed doing for hours and days at a time, sitting in lotus position, away, far far away. And I couldn’t; wouldn’t. My savior teachers were all Westerners who also struggled with this, and introduced guided visualizations, shorter sessions, and I understood I wasn’t alone. Ram Dass introduced me to counted breathing, yoga to the complete breath, Andrew Weil to the majestically important out breath. And then came Thich Nhat Hanh, who opened my mind and breath and heart. I think he saved my life, really. His small books spoke of the benefits of a gatha, a verse recited (usually mentally, not aloud) in rhythm with the breath as part of mindfulness practice or meditative study.

But still I forget to do it. I feel okay, and focus on all the people and needs around me, and forget my own practice of being fully, quietly present. Everything we need to be peaceful is already within each of us, if we can but grace ourselves with the patience we give a sassy child or pet. To be fair to ourselves, it’s not in our basic design to automatically pause and breathe. There is risk in relaxing: our ancestors lived because they were hyper-vigilant, and DNA tells us tension equals survival. As we awaken to our busy-ness, we recognize how often we overreact and do not like ourselves very much because we are NOT relaxed. When you choose mindfulness--take a deliberate breath, listen to a guided visualization, or even flop down on the couch between chores--you might notice a temporary freedom from this unnecessary tension. Then the phone vibrates, we glimpse the dust rhinoceroses under a bookcase, and are back grasping and gasping, feeling the drive to multi-task and accomplish and correct and judge. “Oh, no, I’m doing it again,” and up comes self-loathing for not being able to stay in the nest of peace and gratitude. The secret is nothing more than to calmly acknowledge ourselves and life as it is. This is mindfulness.

As I pondered my friend’s question, I remembered how I can more often choose breath, peace, a mindful state. And celebrated the many teachers who guided and taught and openly struggled with their own practices. So, I want to share a few of those that can bring you peace of mind, clarity of thought, turn off the anxiety of not knowing what the hell next is coming down the news chute. I’ll start simply, a reminder that you actually can control your breathing if you focus. And end with Thich Nhat Hahn’s brilliantly designed meditation for a busy mind. Practice them now or whenever. The intention is to guide and support you to rehearse mindful breathing so they’ll be easier to remember for coming difficult times. In general, it is best to breathe in and out through your nostrils, unless too difficult.

FIRST: Counted Breath: Begin with a little breath in, then empty the lungs a tiny bit forcefully, even tightening your abs to assist. It helps you feel the relief of a taking a bigger inbreath. Simply notice the in-breath, and then say/think the number ONE on the slower outbreath. Next outbreath TWO, up to FIVE. Then count backwards down to ONE even ZERO, and notice the quiet in your mind. It takes me about a minute and a half to awaken to the present and cool my jets. I like that my body naturally relaxes, slows down.

SECOND: Square or Yoga Breath: Best to sit or lie down, as you might get a little dizzy. Then, breathe in and out normally a couple times, then after full outbreath:

1. Inhale for your own count of FOUR. Don’t make it stressful.

2. Hold a full breath for similar count of FOUR.

3. Exhale for EIGHT, this might be a little stressful at first, it’s okay, shake it off, begin again. It helps to use your abs to press out the remaining air from your lungs.

4. Hold an empty breath for FOUR.

5. You’ll love the rush of air that follows as you count up to FOUR.

Repeat five times. Reject perfectionism, you are tapping into ancient wisdom and practice will make it smoother over time.

THIRD: Thich Nhat Hahn’s Gathas to Cool a Busy Mind: The sweetness of a gatha is that it fills and directs thinking to a desired outcome. To prepare, take two breaths to slow down, and seek a balance of Breathing IN and Breathing OUT, saying just that. I’m breathing IN, I know that I’m breathing IN … I’m breathing OUT, I know that I’m breathing OUT. Next, respond to the description of the breaths as follows: IN on the first half, OUT on the second.

1. I’m breathing deep, I know that I am breathing deep… I’m breathing slow, I know that I am breathing slow.

2. I’m breathing calm, I know that I am breathing calm… I’m breathing ease, I know that I am breathing ease.

3. I’m breathing smile (make a tiny smile), I know that I am breathing smile… I’m breathing release, I know that I am breathing (let go of all unnecessary tension from your face and body).

4. I’m breathing present moment, I know that I am breathing present moment… I’m breathing wonderful moment, I know that I am breathing wonderful moment

5. I’m breathing peace of mind, I know that I am breathing peace of mind… I’m breathing joy for all, I know that I am breathing joy for all.

Repeat five times, or less, or more. Once you get the key words memorized, you’ll find yourself closing your eyes, and doing a cycle or two even when you “don’t need to.” And soon, it’s enough to simply think IN/OUT, DEEP/SLOW, CALM/EASE, SMILE/RELEASE, PRESENT MOMENT/WONDERFUL MOMENT, PEACE OF MIND/JOY FOR ALL. And your mind quiets.

Another hint from my wise and loving friend: a free APP called Insight Timer. It has hundreds of guided meditations, music, meditation timers, and everything I needed to get me back on track. Thank you, amiga mia, for asking this hard question.

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Five Breaths to Bring Peace of Mind