How to Interview a Therapist
Finding a therapist who works WITH you is not an easy task. Here are some questions to get you clearer about what you want to know about a potential therapist.
KEY QUESTIONS TO ASK A PROSPECTIVE THERAPIST AND QUESTIONS THE THERAPIST OUGHT TO ASK YOU.
A good fit between a client and counselor allows trust and truth to develop quickly. To make the best use of their time and money, people ready to seek counseling would be wise to give as much intention in finding the right therapist as they would to buy a car. This might seem especially true for those who want to face the deep hurts and abuse from childhood. It is also important when seeking guidance for current decisions about relationships and life choices.
Unfortunately, many people are intimidated by professionals, and worry more about being accepted by the therapist than the other way around. It is healthy to hesitate before entrusting your story and seeking guidance with a professional. It is your job to interview the therapist for a fit with your specific concerns, just as it is the therapist’s task to determine if you might work well with his or her style and expertise.
You’ll benefit more from therapy if you work with a counselor who is experienced in the areas you are ready to explore. Just as important, you’ll make the most gains if the therapist is non-judgmental and compassionate toward you. This is because everyone seeking counseling carries at least a little embarrassment about needing to seek help. And those who must discuss a painful past or shame about current behaviors, it is essential they trust that the other person in the room will neither judge nor reject them. Some of these questions will help you sense if you’ll feel comfortable enough to present your concerns.
When someone calls me, saying they saw my name in the telephone directory or that a friend had recommended me, I ask them routine questions to give both of us time to rationally and emotionally get a sense of each other. I need to know if the issues at hand are ones I am willing and able to handle. Many therapists are open to a fifteen minute phone consultation in order to talk with prospective clients before making an initial appointment. Those who prefer to schedule a session to do this have their reasons. Ask them what it is and then trust your intuition to know if it feels right for you to schedule an exploratory session in their office.
TWO SETS OF QUESTIONS:
A. What to Ask the Professional:
The following questions may reveal a match or mismatch with your goals in therapy. This is an inclusive list covering many issues, so you only need to ask those in line with your own needs. The purpose is to determine if the therapist is willing to work in a partnership with you, which is as important as qualifications and training. By beginning your relationship with mutual permission to discuss ideas and feelings, your work together will flow more easily.
What is your general approach for working with (my primary concerns)? Be specific: sexual problems, addictions, parenting, childhood abuse, marital discord, etc.
I want to receive feedback from you. I don’t want you to just ask me how I feel or avoid answering my questions. Are you comfortable with that style of interacting? This is important if you wish to engage in give and take, rather than analysis.
Will you suggest homework or books and articles for me to read?
Are you open to an occasional phone session if I am in crisis, or traveling?
What is your policy about coming every week, or a regular basis? What if finances or other obligations make it difficult to attend every week?
Do you use any “other than conscious” approaches? Hypnotherapy, EMDR, or other techniques? There are many proven approaches that can accelerate learning and reduce symptoms of anxiety or phobias.
Are you open to incorporating my spiritual beliefs and practice in our therapy? Will you share with me what your beliefs are? If this is important to you.
Can you help me address the possibility of, or even evoke, repressed memories?
If I wanted to come with my spouse or other family members, would you be open to seeing us? Would you help us find another therapist if you feel it is better to separate these issues?
Are you open to sharing personal information if it is relevant, such as similar background or experiences?
B. Questions I ask Prospective Clients:
These are not to rule out the possibility of working with someone. They give me the sense of whether I am the best fit for them, and make the most of initial sessions. You can volunteer information that is appropriate to your concerns, or be prepared should the therapist ask you about these issues.
Are you currently using addictive or compulsive behaviors to cope with your stress and discomfort? Are you open to discussing how this is impacting you or your family?
Is there any violence or addictive behavior in your family or important relationships?
If you have seen another therapist, what did you like and/or dislike about that approach? Have you ended your relationship in a comfortable or uncomfortable way?
What do you believe would be the most helpful thing you could get from therapy at this time in your life? And, what are you afraid will be asked of you that you are not ready to pursue?
Will financial issues make it difficult for you to attend as often as might seem beneficial for working on your problems at this time? Are you open to a payment plan so money will not be an obstacle?